Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
