i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
