Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
