Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
