Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
