And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
