They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He better not be in your backpack
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
