i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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