Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
