Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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