Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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