Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
