wakey wakey hands off snakey
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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