what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
