I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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