just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
