yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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