What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize