I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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