the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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