Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
