when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
