and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
