Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
