bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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