i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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