She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
