My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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