you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
please come you make the beer taste better
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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