he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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