You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
