wakey wakey hands off snakey
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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