I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
