The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
