Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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