I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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