I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
