Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
