I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
