I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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