It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
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