I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
