so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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