Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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