found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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