Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
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He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
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I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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