what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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