My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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