dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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