Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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