I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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