so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
