Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
