??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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